I ALREADY TORE UP THE DANG THING

Actually the Parallel Active Track flew it into the branches of a magnolia tree, causing it to fall about 13 feet and break the gimbal, the camera doodad that moves around and stays level when it’s functioning normally.

The rest of the drone is unharmed, but I have to send it back to DJI to get a new gimbal put on. And I will probably have to pay for it, but I sent them the link to the video below to show what happened.

Basically I think the drone was trying to get a better view of me, it swerved out to get one, and found itself in a bunch of leaves. It wasn’t a hard crash, not at all… those gimbals are pretty fragile.

Anyway, I guess I will have more drone videos at a later date, whenever I get my drone back from DJI.

(As of this writing, I have not sent it off, just registered my repair request. I will send it in the next day or so.)

THE SMELL OF FREEDOM

You know, I got to thinking, and I made a real breakthrough: wiping my ass is something I do primarily for other people’s benefit. And lately, it’s really been cramping my style.

I want to be free, dammit.

I don’t want to be constrained by your made-up “rules.”

You like following the rules, you go ahead.

Fall in line, sheep!

Me, I’m gonna make my own rules.

No more ass-wiping for this American. No sirree.

It’s boring, and I don’t like it. And I only do it so my ass won’t stink, and it’s my ass, so I don’t really smell it anyway.

You run a business? You say you don’t want people who smell like shit inside your business, because it makes the whole place smell like shit?
TOUGH.

My freedom to smell like shit outweighs your freedom to have a business that doesn’t smell like shit.
Do you hate freedom?

If you own a business, and you go around doing what the government tells you to do, making people leave who smell like shit because they can’t be bothered to do something as simple as wiping their own ass, well, you’re a COMMUNIST.

Wiping is tyranny!

Think about it: if somebody never came along and TOLD you to wipe your ass, you’d have never started doing it.

Do you do what EVERYONE tells you to do, all the time?

And you call yourself an American? HA.

All you are is a robot, marching along in line with all the other robots, DOING WHAT *THEY* TOLD YOU TO DO.

What’s that? You say “doctors” and “scientists” say people should wipe their asses?

Don’t you know those same doctors and scientists want to CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS?

Today, it’s “wipe your ass.” Tomorrow, who knows?

Give em an inch, they take a mile. I mean, they SAY that wiping your ass helps you stay healthy, but think about this:

Every person you know who died, ever…

Every one of those dead people WIPED THEIR ASSES when they were alive!

And just look at em now. DEAD.

Did you ever think about that? Of course you didn’t! You’ve been brainwashed, just like all the other sheep.

But it’s not too late. You’ve seen the truth, now you’ve got to decide…

Are you going to keep blindly doing what other people tell you to do, or are you going to blaze a trail of FREEDOM and stop wiping your ass like me?

Don’t give in to their control! Join me in the anti-wiping movement.

And when you walk into a room, and everybody smells your ass, and they’re like “oh my God what’s that smell?” you tell em it’s the smell of freedom.

And remember, that smell only smells bad to them because they’ve been BRAINWASHED.

20200720_215653

MORE X-FILES NONSENSE

I dunno why, but the song “Bleeding Love” popped into my head yesterday, so I found the chords on the internet and figured out the vocal melody.

And I thought it would be cool if I played it while video-ing my TV as I was watching Season 8, Episode 2 of “The X-Files,” an episode I had never seen before.

And the part of the vocal melody that corresponds to “you cut me open and I/keep bleeding, I keep keep bleeding love” ended up coming at just the right time.

I didn’t plan it that way, it just came out that way.

THE DOGGETT AND PONY SHOW

Alright, so I’ve been watching/re-watching “The X-Files” on Hulu off and on for the past few months.

“Watching/re-watching” because I think I had seen roughly half of the episodes already… maybe more like a third of them.

In case you don’t know, “The X-Files” consists of basically 2 types of episodes. One type of episode is “Monster Of The Week”. In these episodes, Mulder and Scully investigate some weird creature, or ghost, or alien, or whatever, and the story is resolved (more or less) in that self-contained episode. “Self-contained” because in the next episode, they would be going after some other monster, and the previous episode’s monster (or whatever) wouldn’t be mentioned.

Some of the more memorable “monsters of the week” came back from time to time, but most of them were one-offs.

That’s one type of X-Files episode. The other type are called “mytharc” episodes.

“Mytharc” is a term the show’s staff actually used (if Google is to be believed, “TRUST NO ONE” 🙂 ), and the word is a combination of “mythology” and “story arc.”

Which means, these episodes aren’t self-contained, they’re one long story. The X-Files mytharc was about the government covering up alien abductions, Mulder and Scully’s backstories, and so on.

As an aside, several years ago I got bored and decided to watch all the mytharc episodes up to I think season 5… because that’s all the seasons the local video rental place (since closed) had to rent.

I remember reading back then that many hardcore X-Files fans preferred “monster of the week” episodes. Regarding that, I can say with 100% certainty that if you only watch the mytharc episodes, you miss out on a lot (and I do mean a LOT) of what makes the X-Files a great show.

Actually my personal favorite X-Files episode – “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space”; the episode where Jesse Ventura and Alex Trebek make appearances as Men In Black – isn’t considered a mytharc episode, at least it wasn’t the last time I checked.

I am digressing like hell here, but if you’ve tried to get into The X-Files and couldn’t, watch that episode. Season 3, episode 20… it is (in my opinion) the quintessential X-Files episode. I didn’t really get the humor in the series until I saw that episode, and anyways it’s a good episode. 🙂

But getting back to the point, there are recurring characters in mytharc episodes, and one of them is the strong-jawed fellow you see in the picture.

alien_bounty_hunter

Well, it’s the same actor at least… there are several of these guys in the show. They are shape-shifting alien bounty hunters (the picture below is what they look like by default, I guess), and the only way to kill them is to stab (or shoot) them in the back of the neck. The dagger thing in the second pic is their weapon of choice, and they use it to kill various aliens disguised as humans, as well as probably a few humans, I honestly don’t remember. But anyways, when you stab (or shoot) one of these guys in the back of the neck, green stuff starts bubbling out, and they melt into a pile of green goop, basically.

x-files2

Early in the series, when these guys (or other aliens like them) get killed, the green goop is accompanied by a toxic gas that kills humans.
But later…

I am currently watching Season 8 for the first time. And in episode 2, Scully kills one of these guys by shooting him in the back of the neck. In the scene, she is down on the floor after a struggle, and she fires a single shot that pierces his neck, he falls to the floor a few feet away from her, and he turns into a pile of green goop, as expected.

But… there’s no poison gas. And my question to any other X-Files fans who may be on my friends list is… where’s the poison gas?

I have looked online for an explanation of this, but all I can find regarding season 8 are general reviews that talk about how bad it is. “Doggett and pony show” and whatnot. But nobody explained why Scully didn’t even bother to hold her breath when the toxic green goop started bubbling out of the alien’s neck when she shot him.

Maybe I missed something in an earlier episode that explained that (I did fall asleep watching some episodes, and sometimes I was half-watching, half-doing other stuff)… or maybe it was just lazy screenwriting.

Does anybody know?

I MEAN…

Got a song I am working on, don’t know the chords or melody yet, not sure about the title, or where the hook is, or if it’s got one, or any of that stuff, in fact maybe it’s one of those talk-singing songs, where there’s like a story being told, then there’s a chorus, doesn’t have to be 20 minutes long, no 5-part harmonies, no audience sing-alongs with feelin, nothing like that, just a quick little anecdote about this one fella sitting there minding his own business, when this other fella walks up rubbing the side of his head. Now being a congenial sort, first fella asks him, “what are you rubbing your head for?” and the other fella replies “nother fella hit me in the head with his shovel” and the first fella asks him, “well what did he do a thing like that for?” and the other fella said “he didn’t like what I said to him” and so the first fella, being a curious sort, he asks the other fella “well what did you say to him?” and the other fella said “told him he was digging his own grave.”

[dun-dun-dun dunnnn, dun, dun-dun, doonty-dun dun dun…]

and there ain’t no moral or anything to the song, except that maybe what looks like a good thing to one person might not look the same way to somebody else, and maybe every great once in a while you might find yourself looking at something that you think is good and fine, and maybe somebody else comes along and tells you they don’t like it.

And maybe they’ve got a pretty dang good reason to not like it.

Maybe people have been not liking that thing for a while now. For decades now.

And every time they said why they felt that way about it, you just tuned em out.

And maybe you didn’t even realize you were tuning em out

But tuned out they got, and mad was something else they got

And you-uuuu, didn’t ha-aaaa-ve, to hit me with your god-danged shovel

When I peeked down into the hole you were diggin

BEST BACKGROUND MUSIC EVER

This is a good album for working on the computer, or house cleaning, or what have you.

It’s actually 4 albums put together. (Go here for more info.)

I have read reviews of Gas albums that say it sounds like there’s a party happening next door, and you can hear dance music thumping through the wall. You weren’t invited to the party (this one review read) but you don’t really mind, because the music sounds soothing in some bizarre way.

The review I read (possibly from the Wikipedia page linked to above) made a similar comparison to that one, at least. 🙂

My short review of Gas in general is that it comes at your ears like a cloud of pulsating noise, but if you listen long enough — and in the right way, sort of like an aural magic eye (magic ear?), in like a half-paying attention, half-ignoring sort of way; talking like a few minutes here — details start to emerge from the cloud, rhythmic bits of fuzz that may or may not have once been a recording of a violin or something start to creep out, and anyways if you’re looking for something semi-relaxing to help you tune out the world while you work on a computer (or whatever), Gas is something you should check out.

RONA

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “Hey everybody there is a virus. It is very contagious. People catch it by inhaling droplets that come out of infected people’s mouths when they cough, speak, or even breathe. Which means, if everybody wears a mask, fewer people will catch the virus. We may have forgotten to mention that this virus can kill you. Did we mention it can kill you? It can kill you. Like, fast. So wear a mask, please!”

AMERICA: “[blares country music at top volume from open window of pickup truck]”

REST OF THE WORLD: “Oh wow, this is bad. And I bet older people and people with pre-existing conditions are at an even higher risk.”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “That’s correct.”

REST OF THE WORLD: “Wow. So I guess it’s, like, inconvenient? But I mean we should wear masks anyway, because people could die?”

AMERICA: “[runs stop light at intersection, flings half-empty longneck Busch Light bottle out of the window, which hits a post and shatters]”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “[covers face to protect eyes from shattered glass] What the fuck?”

AMERICA: “[slams on brakes, slides to a stop]”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “Oh for the love of fuck what now?”

REST OF THE WORLD: “Shh just act like the glass didn’t hit you.”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “What are you– no! Hell no! America can’t just fling their fuckin’ Busch Light bottles all over the goddamn place–”

AMERICA: “[steps out of the pickup truck]”

REST OF THE WORLD: “oh shit oh fuck oh man oh fuck…”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “Well at least he doesn’t have a gun this time.”

AMERICA: “[Reaches behind seat, retrieves shotgun]”

REST OF THE WORLD: “oh FUCK oh SHIT why does he have that shotgun? Jesus Christ…”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “Don’t worry about what that lunatic does. [Puts on mask] Just put on a mask before he gets over here and starts spraying droplets of saliva everywhere.”

REST OF THE WORLD: “[Puts on mask] But don’t the masks protect others from us more than they protect us from others?”

AMERICA: “[kills engine, turns off radio]”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “Yes, but some protection is better than no protection.”

AMERICA: “You say something to me? Mr. High-and-mighty World Health Organization, with your fancy doctor book learning and your leftist socialismist ideology. Can’t be trusted.”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “Come again?”

AMERICA: “Oh I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you? You socialists are all the same. [spits tobacco juice on the pavement] Buncha communists and perverts.”

REST OF THE WORLD: “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

AMERICA: “What did you say to me? I heard you over there saying something, but I couldn’t make out what it was, because you got that fuckin’ mask on, like a little fuckin’ kid at fuckin’ Halloween. [shucks shotgun]”

REST OF THE WORLD: “[glares at America]”

AMERICA: “That’s what I thought. You little piece of shit, over there talking shit, and you can’t even back up your shit.”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “Now hold on just a minute–”

AMERICA: “Oh here we go! You gone tell me I gotta wear a mask, Mr. Doctor man?”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “That would certainly help the situation, America.”

AMERICA: “Well guess what, Mr. Doctor Man, where I come from, is a place called America. And we got, we got something in that country ain’t no other country got, and that’s freedom.”

REST OF THE WORLD: “(muttering) yeah ok but you also have the highest incarceration rate in the world.”

AMERICA: “[points shotgun at Rest Of The World] WHUT DID YOU SAY TO ME?”

REST OF THE WORLD: “I said, I like America, America is #1!”

AMERICA: “[lowers shotgun] Well, I guess a broken clock is right once a day. Twice a day. At midnight? But then if it was noon…”

WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION: “(whispering) look let’s just get the fuck out of here before he remembers he was pissed off.”

REST OF THE WORLD: “[nods]”

AMERICA: “…and we got a bunch of amendments to that constitution, and one of em says I can shoot this here gun at whoever I don’t like, and if you got a problem with that then you got a problem with freedom. And I ain’t talking bout what these self-proclaimed [coughs], these self-proclaimed Feminazis and Socialists is [coughs] tryin to ram down my [coughs] ram down my [coughs, hacks] throat, and they ain’t no more American than they is [coughs, sputters], than they is [hacks, coughs, hacks, sputters, drops shotgun, keels over]”

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM SARS-CoV-2

After reading all the complaints on social media about not being able to go to bars and having to wear masks at the grocery store, SARS-CoV-2, the virus responsible for COVID-19, has finally decided to break its silence and respond to all inquiries and complaints.

Full text is as follows:

“Dear humans of the world,

I am a virus, not Ann Landers or Dear Abby. Stop sending me complaints about masks. You might as well go complain to the sun that you need to wear sunscreen to avoid sunburn.

Sincerely,

SARS-CoV-2

P.S. I didn’t actually write this, as I am a virus. But if you feel like pointing out that the government isn’t making anyone use sunscreen, let me remind you that sunburn is not contagious.”

***

Well there you have it, folks, SARS-CoV-2 has spoken, and from what it sounds like, all the complaining about masks hasn’t convinced SARS-CoV-2 to stop infecting people.

Hopefully this virus – which lacks all capacity for any sort of rational thought or decision-making, unlike the humans it infects – will make the fair, rational choice and stop infecting people.

But until this self-replicating bit of RNA that is incapable of conscious thought decides to be fair about this whole thing, I suppose we’re just going to have to make the best of it, folks.

🙂

Nobody Learned Shit In 2016

Tell me if this ever happened to any of you as a kid:

You’re in a car with a bunch of other kids, and like somebody’s mom or a coach or scout leader or some adult authority figure is driving.

And the adult driving says:

“Ok guys, where do you want to eat lunch?”

And say this is like a van or a big SUV, and there’s 5 or 6 kids in the car, and everybody discusses where they want to eat, and 5 out of the 6 kids (including you) decide that you want to go to McDonalds, but the other kid wants to go to Burger King.

And when the adult says “well [kid who wants to go to Burger King], everybody else wants to go to McDonalds, I bet we can find something you like there!” that one kid just throws a fit, and starts screaming and crying, and calling the kids who want to go to McDonalds names, and saying the team or scout group or what have you is dumb and they hate it and why do they have to go to McDonalds when Burger King is clearly the objectively better choice, and so on and so on…

Until the adult driving gets so stressed out that they end up yelling at the kid to shut up, and then they just drive everybody home and nobody goes to McDonalds OR Burger King that day?

Did that ever happen to anyone as a kid? 🙂