“IDENTITY POLITICS” — A TRAGICOMEDY COMING SOON TO AN ECHO CHAMBER NEAR YOU

IDENTITY POLITICS

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                            A play in one act

                            by

                            Michael Nathan Walker

 

 

 

Copyright © 2016, by Michael Nathan Walker

 

 

 

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
 

Kris Anyoneson:                             A Person
Pat Quicumque:                              A Person

 

 

 

Scene
Literally anywhere in the world.

Time
The present.

 

 

ACT I
 

Scene 1
 

SETTING: The setting of this brief tragicomedy is not static; this aspect of the production is left entirely up to the director and/or production designer. Mise-en-scène and costume design are intended to reflect the local customs of wherever the play is being performed in a noncommittal, generic sort of way. Literally any place where two persons might speak to each other is acceptable, and creativity in this regard is encouraged.

AT RISE: KRIS ANYONESON and PAT QUICUMQUE are both at center stage, perhaps waiting for a bus, perhaps sitting on a bench, perhaps standing, perhaps sitting at a table in a restaurant facing each other, perhaps sitting at a table in one of their homes facing each other, perhaps standing and facing each other, perhaps sitting on a couch next to each other; this aspect of the production is also left entirely up to the director and/or production designer, and creativity in this regard is encouraged.

KRIS
So, have you given much thought to the upcoming election?

PAT
Yes, I have.

KRIS
Me, too. I think I am going to vote for H. Sapienza. Sapienza’s policies are agreeable to me personally, and they reflect the worldview I have developed for myself. I think my worldview is a pretty reasonable one, and therefore I want to vote for someone who reflects my own worldview and promotes the ideas I believe in.

PAT
You poor deluded fool! Your political opinion is incredibly self-centered. I don’t mean to be condescending, but your choice of candidate reflects very poorly on you as a human being.

KRIS
Luckily for you, I am not the type of person who takes offense easily, Pat. You may not have intended to sound condescending with your previous statement, nonetheless it could easily be interpreted by a reasonable person as not only condescending but downright insulting. But being that we are friends, I will refrain from responding in kind and ask you to clarify your position.

PAT
I apologize, Kris! I did not mean to come across the way I apparently came across! It’s just that matters such as these are important, and I feel compelled to speak of them in terms which reflect this importance! Please accept my apology!

KRIS
Apology accepted. Now please, explain your position.

PAT
But of course. When people base their voting decisions upon their personal worldview, they are harming society as a whole. They are putting their own personal interests above and beyond the greater good.

KRIS
The greater good, you say?

PAT
Yes, my friend, the greater good. That which benefits everyone, that which rises above the petty concerns of individuals and benefits society as a whole.

KRIS
Interesting.

PAT
Oh, it’s much more than interesting, my friend, it’s essential! We must stop thinking of ourselves as individuals, and start thinking collectively! We must make sacrifices in order to benefit everyone equally!

KRIS
That certainly sounds reasonable.

PAT
Reasonable, indeed! Now do you see the folly of your worldview, you poor, deluded soul?

KRIS
Well, no. No, I don’t. And honestly, I am having a hard time believing that you are not trying to sound condescending.

PAT
Again, I apologize! But as I mentioned before, these matters are too important to act blasé about them! We shouldn’t sink to the level of the animal and base our decisions on creature comforts alone…

KRIS
Alright, that’s enough of that. I have listened to your point of view, the least you can do is listen to mine.

PAT
No need to be rude about it, my friend. Please, state your case.

KRIS
Well, Pat, I didn’t just wake up one morning with my own personal worldview. It’s something I have developed over many years, through many long hours of study and personal reflection. And frankly, I resent your implication that this worldview is somehow shallow and deluded.

PAT
I didn’t mean to be insulting, Kris.

KRIS
Right. You keep saying that, so you obviously believe it to be true.

PAT
Obviously. I just think you should be less self-centered when it comes to your political views.

KRIS
OK.

PAT
You should think of the greater good, what is best for the most people, when you choose a candidate.

KRIS
I suppose it’s hard to argue with that.

PAT
Indeed it is, my friend, indeed it is.

KRIS
Indeed. I just have one question for you, Pat. Who gets to decide what constitutes the greater good? Where should I go to find out what the greater good actually consists of? Who should advise me on how to act on behalf of the greater good?

PAT
Well, Kris, I’ll tell you what I think:

 

(CURTAIN)

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