IDENTITY POLITICS
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A play in one act
by
Michael Nathan Walker
Copyright © 2016, by Michael Nathan Walker
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Kris Anyoneson: A Person
Pat Quicumque: A Person
SceneLiterally anywhere in the world.
TimeThe present.
ACT I
Scene 1
SETTING: The setting of this brief tragicomedy is not static; this aspect of the production is left entirely up to the director and/or production designer. Mise-en-scène and costume design are intended to reflect the local customs of wherever the play is being performed in a noncommittal, generic sort of way. Literally any place where two persons might speak to each other is acceptable, and creativity in this regard is encouraged.
AT RISE: KRIS ANYONESON and PAT QUICUMQUE are both at center stage, perhaps waiting for a bus, perhaps sitting on a bench, perhaps standing, perhaps sitting at a table in a restaurant facing each other, perhaps sitting at a table in one of their homes facing each other, perhaps standing and facing each other, perhaps sitting on a couch next to each other; this aspect of the production is also left entirely up to the director and/or production designer, and creativity in this regard is encouraged.
KRISSo, have you given much thought to the upcoming election?
PATYes, I have.
KRISMe, too. I think I am going to vote for H. Sapienza. Sapienza’s policies are agreeable to me personally, and they reflect the worldview I have developed for myself. I think my worldview is a pretty reasonable one, and therefore I want to vote for someone who reflects my own worldview and promotes the ideas I believe in.
PATYou poor deluded fool! Your political opinion is incredibly self-centered. I don’t mean to be condescending, but your choice of candidate reflects very poorly on you as a human being.
KRISLuckily for you, I am not the type of person who takes offense easily, Pat. You may not have intended to sound condescending with your previous statement, nonetheless it could easily be interpreted by a reasonable person as not only condescending but downright insulting. But being that we are friends, I will refrain from responding in kind and ask you to clarify your position.
PATI apologize, Kris! I did not mean to come across the way I apparently came across! It’s just that matters such as these are important, and I feel compelled to speak of them in terms which reflect this importance! Please accept my apology!
KRISApology accepted. Now please, explain your position.
PATBut of course. When people base their voting decisions upon their personal worldview, they are harming society as a whole. They are putting their own personal interests above and beyond the greater good.
KRISThe greater good, you say?
PATYes, my friend, the greater good. That which benefits everyone, that which rises above the petty concerns of individuals and benefits society as a whole.
KRISInteresting.
PATOh, it’s much more than interesting, my friend, it’s essential! We must stop thinking of ourselves as individuals, and start thinking collectively! We must make sacrifices in order to benefit everyone equally!
KRISThat certainly sounds reasonable.
PATReasonable, indeed! Now do you see the folly of your worldview, you poor, deluded soul?
KRISWell, no. No, I don’t. And honestly, I am having a hard time believing that you are not trying to sound condescending.
PATAgain, I apologize! But as I mentioned before, these matters are too important to act blasé about them! We shouldn’t sink to the level of the animal and base our decisions on creature comforts alone…
KRISAlright, that’s enough of that. I have listened to your point of view, the least you can do is listen to mine.
PATNo need to be rude about it, my friend. Please, state your case.
KRISWell, Pat, I didn’t just wake up one morning with my own personal worldview. It’s something I have developed over many years, through many long hours of study and personal reflection. And frankly, I resent your implication that this worldview is somehow shallow and deluded.
PATI didn’t mean to be insulting, Kris.
KRISRight. You keep saying that, so you obviously believe it to be true.
PATObviously. I just think you should be less self-centered when it comes to your political views.
KRISOK.
PATYou should think of the greater good, what is best for the most people, when you choose a candidate.
KRISI suppose it’s hard to argue with that.
PATIndeed it is, my friend, indeed it is.
KRISIndeed. I just have one question for you, Pat. Who gets to decide what constitutes the greater good? Where should I go to find out what the greater good actually consists of? Who should advise me on how to act on behalf of the greater good?
PATWell, Kris, I’ll tell you what I think:
(CURTAIN)
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